Pirate Awards
by Octavia Eve1
Summary: It's the annual Pirate Awards. People get drunk, send love letters and get karate chopped.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean or Lord of the Rings. I do Own Octavia Eve however.**

**AWE SPOILER WARNING**

**A/N: This is basically my niece's story that she made for her website. I helped a bit and we threw my OC Octavia in there. **

**Also I may extend the story I may not. I was thinking about adding a few more awards and dragging the others out a bit. Or I maybe just keep it short and sweet. Let me know what you think.**

**ENJOY**.

**Pirate Awards**

Octavia Eve walked on to the stage, wearing a floor length emerald dress.

"Good evening I am Octavia Eve, and I am proud to be hosting the first annual pirate awards."

The audience erupted in applause. All of a sudden a short creature with grey hair runs accross the stage followed by Jack Sparrow. "Give back me gold." He yelled.

Gollum says "My precious."

"Okay that was awkward. Now for the first award of the night the "Hottest Pirate..." Octie opened the envelope. "and the winner is Captain Jack Sparrow."

Everyone claps except for Will Turner who screams "I am way hotter than Captian Jack. I should have won."

Barbosa jumped up. "Hey I am hotter than both of combined."

"uhhhhhh" everyone stares at Barbosa confused.

"On to the next award." said Octavia.

"But I have a monkey." Said Barbosa, in protest.

"Right! Okay as I was saying on to the next award." Said Octavia. As Jack the monkey ran up to her holding up an envelope. Octavia took the envelope from the monkey, opened the envelope and read the note inside.

"Since you did not pick me for hottest pirate I want the dress back.

And forget about our date!"

-Love, Captain Barbosa

"I did not have plans with Barbosa...On to the next award." Said Octavia

"Gerard is now my official envelope giver person. From now on I am not taking any envelopes unless given to me by the very handsome Gerard Way."

The monkey ran back on stage with another envelope and handed it to Gerard. "thanks little guy" Said Gerard. Gerard hands the envelope to Octavia.

She read the note aloud.

"How could you lie about our love.

p.s. love will tear us apart again.

- Love, Barbosa."

"Gerard! You're not supposed to take envelopes from the monkey. That defeats the purpose of my system."

"But he's so cute." Replied Gerard.

"I don't care how cute he is." Yelled Octavia.

"Fine!" Gerard pouted.

"On with the show." Yelled a random pirate from the audience.

"Alright! The next category is "Ugliest pirate." And the nominees are.

Barbossa

Pintel

Ragetti

the kracken

and...Barbossa.

And the winner is...Barbossa." Octavia slapped a hand to her face. A spotlight was shinning on Barbossa and he strutted to the stage.

"Wait a minute did I just win the award for the ugliest pirate?" Questioned Barbossa.

"Yes." Replied Octavia.

"But I'm hottest pirate." Retorted Barbossa.

"Ok." Octavia took a deep breath." You won the ugliest pirate award, you're not the hottest pirate and I don't love you." Then she said something inaudible.

"What was that Octavia?" Said Barbossa suspiciously.

She mumbled again.

"I don't think anyone heard that." Said Barbossa.

"LIKE I LOVED YOU YESTERDAY!" exclaimed Octavia.

"That's what I thought." Barbossa said with a broad smile.

The audience was taken aback by this statement.

"How does a guy like that get a girl like her?" Asked Jack Sparrow.

Barbossa starts singing. "This is why, this is why, this is why I'm hott."

"Just sit down!" Barked Octavia.

And Barbossa, now happy, obeyed.

"Ok, I don't know if I can manage to give out the third award and keep my sanity. But I will try."

"And now for the third award." Said Gerard. Handing Octavia the envelope.

"The "wannabe pirate award"." Said Octavia with a weak smile. "And the nominees are:

Random Navy guy 1

Random Navy guy 2

Kelly Clarkson

Elizabeth Swan

And the winner is...Elizabeth Swan."

Elizabeth is seen charging the stage.

"Oh boy." Said Octavia.

"Wannabe pirate?! I've had enough experience with pirates to be the KING of pirates." She said pushing Octavia.

"There's no need for that. I'm just the host." Said Octavia.

"There's no need? I'm in the same category as Random Navy Guy 1 and 2 and Kelly Clarkson? She wasn't even in the movie! And I look much better in pirate attire than she would anyway." Shouted Elizabeth.

She lunged at Octavia who quickly moved out of the way. Elizabeth tripped and landed on Gerard.

"Hello there. Where have you been all of my life?" Said Elizabeth in a flirty voice.

"Oh this is bad." Said Gerard from underneath Elizabeth.

"Oh no you didn't. You best get off Gerard before things get ugly. And when I say ugly I mean uglier than Barbossa." Yelled Octavia.

"That's pretty ugly." Said Gerard.

Elizabeth leapt off of Gerard and swung at Octavia.

Octavia eluded Elizabeth and started doing strange movements with her arms and legs, somewhat resembling that of karate. Elizabeth became to mimic Octavia's moves.

"I know karate!" Said Octavia hopping around on one leg and holding her arms in the air.

"So do I!" Replied Elizabeth.

They circled each other for a few minutes when Octavia decided that she had had enough and she blew a horn that was hanging from the side of her belt.

"The horn of Gondor!" Shouted Boromir from where he was.

"Octavia!" Exclaimed Aragorn. And they both rushed to the stage.

"Is everything all right?" Asked Boromir who had just lept onto the stage.

"She's picking on me." Said Octavia pointing to Elizabeth.

"I am not!" Protested Elizabeth.

"And she attacked me." Said Gerard.

"I did not!"

Aragorn and Boromir grabbed Elizabeth by the arms and began to escort her off stage.

"I'll always be hotter than you, always!" Shouted Elizabeth at Octavia.

"Yeah keep telling yourself that." Replied Octavia.

Anyway. on to the next award.

"Pirate who needs to be groomed most and the nominees are: Gibbs

Boot Strap Bill

Will Turner

The winner is...Will Turner, wait a second" She took a second glance at the note. "Yes the winner is Will Turner"

Will stood up outraged. "What? my father has barnacles all over his body and you choose me as the person who needs to be most groomed? This is the worst award show ive ever been to. Im not even going to accept this award"

"Fine don't accept the award, I don't care. And just to let you know I did not choose tonights winners. So if you feel that you're not that ugly, you're not that stanky or you don't think you're that hott, it's your problem. Get off my back!"

"Thar's a Sparrow on your back Oct-ta-via!" Yelled Barbossa.

"Jack what are you doing on my back? Get off!" Shouted Octavia.

"Am I the only person who's happy with their award." Jack said.

Gerard starts singing "So long and good night, so long and good night."

Octavia stomps off stage screaming "I am never hosting an award show again"


End file.
